thanks everyoone for the wishes!
and thanks for reiterating that it's okay to feel sad. the funny thing is that more people said happy birthday to me in person and asked me what i had done/ had planned than i even gave thought to myself. to which i literally had to reply for days straight that "i was just taking some time to relax alone" rather than having some stupid extravagant party or night out. it almost seems like if no one at all had remembered besides myself, if no one had even known, that i would have probably had a better time
interesting what you said about true friends too. i was talking to my therapist the other day and it's just interesting how i constantly feel like i put so much into relationships with people (codie alert!!) but feel disappointed when i dont get the same love and friendship back. i feel like i put my all into everything but others are just selfish. a lot of people that i did consider to be true friends, whom i go out of the way for to call on their bdays/make it to their events/ etc. didnt even bother...didnt even remember.
and on the same note, xabf texted today...not to wish happy bday but to tell me hes been doing bad. and then when i told him i was upset he didn't wish me he freaked out and said i was the one with the "drama" and that he doesn't know why i would go assuming things about him doing bad, even though he just said he was not well.....that and the fact that he sounded trashed on the phone the other day. there is NO POINT. they will just never get it will they..... at least i am starting to get THAT though. slowly but surely.......