DogDays- I am a year younger than you and your story is a familiar one to me. As some have said, alcoholism (not saying this is in fact you) is progressive and leads down the inevitable road. I started to go down that road to h3ll but have learnt that I don't have to be another statistic. Don't get me wrong, I have had bumps along the way but life without alcohol is possible and it is everything you imagine. It aint easy, but it sure is worth it. Best wishes.