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Lost... Looking For a New Beginning

Old 09-11-2011, 09:05 PM
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Unhappy Lost... Looking For a New Beginning

**Another user suggested I post this in the Alcohol forum, so I did!***

I am new to soberrecovery.com, and I am hoping those that have been here before can help me.

I still have a hard time admitting that I am an alcoholic, because I do not drink every day. I binge drink on the weekends, but from everything I have read online, that makes me an alcoholic.

Drinking is negatively impacting my life in every facet. Professionally, in relationships, financially, and physically.

I am a 28 year old female, and basically, every weekend, or any day I have the next day off, I binge drink. Once I am buzzed, all I want to do is drink. Any event that I attend (weddings, baseball games, parties, cookouts, family gatherings) where there is alcohol, I get wasted. And I mean WASTED. Black out, fall down drunk.

I end up in situations where other people have to take care of me. I have had countless one night stands due to my drunkeness. I stopped counting after I had slept with 25 guys (years ago). By the grace of god I have never gotten an STD. I have ended up in the hospital, and hurt, and thousands in the hole due to my excessive partying. My usual reaction is to laugh the next day about my night, and feel hungover all day.

I can't repeat this cycle any longer. Now I know that there is nothing I want more than to get married and settle down, but all of my relationships have ended due to my drinking. It breaks my heart every time.

My friends are all big drinkers, but I can't cut them out of my life. They mean too much to me. I feel like I am really shy and awkward when I go out sober. I enjoy a nice beer, or a good glass of wine. I just always end up taking it too far. What do I do? I want to stop this cycle before I die, end up alone, raped, pregnant, or with an STD. Seriously, HELP!
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:24 PM
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Originally Posted by DogDays View Post
**Another user suggested I post this in the Alcohol forum, so I did!***

I am new to soberrecovery.com, and I am hoping those that have been here before can help me.

I still have a hard time admitting that I am an alcoholic, because I do not drink every day. I binge drink on the weekends, but from everything I have read online, that makes me an alcoholic.

Drinking is negatively impacting my life in every facet. Professionally, in relationships, financially, and physically.

I am a 28 year old female, and basically, every weekend, or any day I have the next day off, I binge drink. Once I am buzzed, all I want to do is drink. Any event that I attend (weddings, baseball games, parties, cookouts, family gatherings) where there is alcohol, I get wasted. And I mean WASTED. Black out, fall down drunk.

I end up in situations where other people have to take care of me. I have had countless one night stands due to my drunkeness. I stopped counting after I had slept with 25 guys (years ago). By the grace of god I have never gotten an STD. I have ended up in the hospital, and hurt, and thousands in the hole due to my excessive partying. My usual reaction is to laugh the next day about my night, and feel hungover all day.

I can't repeat this cycle any longer. Now I know that there is nothing I want more than to get married and settle down, but all of my relationships have ended due to my drinking. It breaks my heart every time.

My friends are all big drinkers, but I can't cut them out of my life. They mean too much to me. I feel like I am really shy and awkward when I go out sober. I enjoy a nice beer, or a good glass of wine. I just always end up taking it too far. What do I do? I want to stop this cycle before I die, end up alone, raped, pregnant, or with an STD. Seriously, HELP!
Dogdays, I don't think it matters if your an alcoholic or not. It is just a label that can be correctly or incorrectly applied to your situation. What is important is that you have started to evaluate your situation and realize you need a change.

It only gets harder with time, so the earlier you realize you should quit, the better off you will be.

I've quit drinking twice in my life. The first time was when I was 28 years old. I had told my boss what I thought of him and the organization, and went on a severe bender. Afterwards, I quit my job, sobered up and stayed that way for 6 months. The second go round was two years later and it has lasted over two years.

The first thing you need to do is to make the decision to quit. This is a tough decision and its likely your brain will play tricks on you. It's important that you realize your addictive self is going to fight you.

You should probably find a support group. There are lists on this site. You can also hang out here. Not having to fight the cravings alone is always a good thing.

You may also want to find some good things to replace alcohol with. Like jogging, going to the gym, etc.

These are just a few of my ideas. I hope this helps.

Please feel free to ask any questions. Your not alone here.
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Old 09-11-2011, 10:06 PM
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Hi DogDays,

Don't worry about whether you are an alcoholic or not. This is the important part:

Originally Posted by DogDays View Post
Drinking is negatively impacting my life in every facet. Professionally, in relationships, financially, and physically.
Trust me, you don't need to be 'an alcoholic' to have problems with alcohol that need fixing.

Good for you for realising all of this, and taking action before things get worse (which they always do when alcohol is involved - never better).

I agree with everything Sherman says and have nothing else to add - my drinking was the exact opposite of yours - solo and terribly 'civilised' LOL :-) Ahem, right.

Just one thing: although I cringed (big time) about this beforehand, I found it super-helpful to see a doctor. I was referred to a guy who specialises in addictions and it has been great and very very helpful and supportive, seriously. If this isn't an option for you, a GP is a good start too.

Good luck to you and you are absolutely right to take action now.
BB
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Old 09-11-2011, 11:25 PM
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Welcome...

I arrived in D.C. ..single and ready for the whole party deal.
Heck...I even worked in the hospitality field...loved the ambiance quick cash....flirting.....late nights etc.

All my social circle were excessive drinkers. I wanted it that way...so I would not feel like an outcast when I did drink a lot.

WEhen my blackouts started...they too had them so I thought all drinkers did... I was also unaware that alcoholism is a progressive disease and has stages.

It's a wonder I was not beaten or murdered. I tended to pick up strangers in bars...bring them to my apartment when closed.
Once I was robbed of money and credit cards....another time I was raped. I could not press charges..had no idea of their names or faces.
And still i drank and the blakcouts continued.

When my drinking turned me into a depressed woman I detested ....I sought treatment for depression.b
My psychiatrist declared I now had become situationally depressed.......said to abstain and connect to the local AA.


I was not thrilled at either idea....but the depression was so crushing... I went. The depression began lifteing rather quickly
the blackout stopped immeidately....the dangerous behaviors.did too.

Yes...I've remained an active AA member...a non drinker who now lives with purpose and joy...

Please do see a doctor about how best to de tox from alcohol...it's best to do that..

Last edited by CarolD; 09-12-2011 at 09:10 AM.
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Old 09-11-2011, 11:52 PM
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Doesn't matter if you fit the classic profile of an alcoholic or not. If it's giving you problems, it time to do something about it. As for your friends? Can't say anything since i am hands down the biggest drinker in my social circle.
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Old 09-12-2011, 06:15 AM
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This is not just for you it is for every young woman contemplating whether or not to quit drinking. I want you to go to an AA meeting. No I am no longer in AA but that is not the point. Take a long look at the mid thirties to forties gals in that meeting. Do you want to look like that? Do you want to be 65 twenty five years early?
I agree with the others about the tricks your mind will play on you. You will rationalize drinking at every corner. I fight with this every day. No you are not and never will be able to drink with any sense of restraint. Think about it!
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Old 09-12-2011, 06:26 AM
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Originally Posted by DogDays View Post
**Another user suggested I post this in the Alcohol forum, so I did!***

I am new to soberrecovery.com, and I am hoping those that have been here before can help me.

I still have a hard time admitting that I am an alcoholic, because I do not drink every day. I binge drink on the weekends, but from everything I have read online, that makes me an alcoholic.

Drinking is negatively impacting my life in every facet. Professionally, in relationships, financially, and physically.

I am a 28 year old female, and basically, every weekend, or any day I have the next day off, I binge drink. Once I am buzzed, all I want to do is drink. Any event that I attend (weddings, baseball games, parties, cookouts, family gatherings) where there is alcohol, I get wasted. And I mean WASTED. Black out, fall down drunk.

I end up in situations where other people have to take care of me. I have had countless one night stands due to my drunkeness. I stopped counting after I had slept with 25 guys (years ago). By the grace of god I have never gotten an STD. I have ended up in the hospital, and hurt, and thousands in the hole due to my excessive partying. My usual reaction is to laugh the next day about my night, and feel hungover all day.

I can't repeat this cycle any longer. Now I know that there is nothing I want more than to get married and settle down, but all of my relationships have ended due to my drinking. It breaks my heart every time.

My friends are all big drinkers, but I can't cut them out of my life. They mean too much to me. I feel like I am really shy and awkward when I go out sober. I enjoy a nice beer, or a good glass of wine. I just always end up taking it too far. What do I do? I want to stop this cycle before I die, end up alone, raped, pregnant, or with an STD. Seriously, HELP!
Welcome DD! i also was not a everyday drinker. in fact i was employed up until the day i finally decided to quit. i drank very heavily for 3 or 4 days then went 3 (or sometimes 4) days without. it was enough to almost kill me. welcome to SR!
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Old 09-12-2011, 10:15 AM
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There's confusion about what an alcoholic is and isn't. An alcoholic can not drink so it's not the daily drinking that necessarily qualifies you as one. It's what happens when I pick up alcohol. An non-alcoholic can decided he/she is going to have one drink and have no problem doing it. This alcoholic has no control over how much I drink, even if it means blackouts, making an ass of myself or destroying my life.

That's what the first step means: we're powerless over alcohol. We're powerless AFTER we drink it.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:42 PM
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You can get help in so many places! I personally attend an AA meeting once a week and found someone there that I get along with well and can help me stay sober.

Therapy doesn't hurt either.

The friends/social situation can be tough. I have friends I just don't hang out with all that much anymore. We drank together - that was really it. Take away the drinking and there wasn't much left to the friendship. I can't put myself in the situation where I hang out in that environment anymore, it will lead to bad things.

Best of luck to you - there are ways out but you have to take the steps to get there.
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Old 09-12-2011, 12:54 PM
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DogDays- I am a year younger than you and your story is a familiar one to me. As some have said, alcoholism (not saying this is in fact you) is progressive and leads down the inevitable road. I started to go down that road to h3ll but have learnt that I don't have to be another statistic. Don't get me wrong, I have had bumps along the way but life without alcohol is possible and it is everything you imagine. It aint easy, but it sure is worth it. Best wishes.
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