Welcome postsedition. I know you'll feel better when you start reading all the stories here. So many people have been through the same things as you. I felt all alone with my drinking nightmare. Then I came here and found so many just like me who had made it out of hell & were living a full life again.
It's so hard not to have regrets - but you must allow yourself to move on. Try not to sabotage your recovery by being filled with guilt. It does nothing but keep you on square one.
Looking forward to hearing more from you - congratulations on your decision to reclaim your life. You can do this & be happy again!