[QUOTE=Bonny;3099245]The thing is, we want to start trying for a family and I'm scared he won't be able to quit. He always said he would quit no problem when the time came, now he's saying: "can't we wait and see if we have fertility problems, then I'll quit" I suspect it is all bs.
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Thank you for your post, you sound like a kind and smart person
I understand the tears. I am new here too, and the posts make me cry a lot ( I think this is good).
Be careful. I am saying this as a person who grew up with a father who was addicted to alchool and valium, and with a mother that enabled him. He died when I was 21 due to complications from drugs and alcohol , and I haven't spoken to my mother in years.
I know that his addiction became worse and worse with each passing year, and it pretty much distroyed my childhood.
I know my story is extreme, but I am just telling you what can happen in a worst case situation.
I am not saying this will happen to you, and I hope it does not, but you do want to have a family, and you are not sure if you can have that with this man. I would postpone the wedding until you are sure that you are starting out the marraige with a resonable amount of trust that this person will be a good father and husband. Maybe some counseling would be a good start for you two, before you get married and have kids.
I also sounds to me like he is not ready to have kids yet, and not willing to give up partying (just my opinion). He may also come to resent you, and may even start going behind your back.
I do hope the best for you and your BF
Hugs, D