Originally Posted by Bonny

Hi ladies, thank you so much for your replies.

Kiki - he is a massive binge drinker when he goes out and can easily drink 10 big measures in one setting. The thing is all his friends are worse than him. He knows it's not normal and worries about the long term effects, but it doesn't stop him. He had big problems with cocaine when he was younger but he managed to quit with pro help. He still does it occasionally but not regularly. I don't think harder drugs will be a problem, but the booze might. When he was off marijuana for a year he drank more. He also needed sleeping pills to get to sleep and ended up getting hooked on them.

cc88 and Justlizzyd - Thanks for your advice. I know what you're saying but I love him and I want to marry him. I can't call the wedding off. He says he does want to stop but just can't right now. I really think all that stuff he said about his friend's wives was the addiction talking, not him. The fact he quit for a year gives me hope. Maybe I am just being naiive but I really believe he can do it again. I hope I'm not wrong. I don't expect a wedding will fix anything. The main reason we are doing it is because we want to start a family. Though I don't know if I can go ahead with bringing kids into the world if they're going to have an addict father.

He is a really great guy in every other sense, and I think he really does love me. He is just sick. He started using marijuana to escape problems in his life, never for recreational reasons. He went to therapy but it made him feel worse. He is a man with a lot of issues. i wish i could help, but I really don't know how to. I'm not a professional... Maybe it would be easier to walk away, but I love him, what do I do? I know it's only me that can decide, but it's hard.

Ann - thank you for the welcome. This is a great resource you've created here, thank you so much. I wish I'd found it sooner. Nice to know I'm not alone.