Well, thought I should check in with everyone, havent been on here for awhile. I really needed to step out and take a deep breath and see it all for myself, without anyones stories in the back of my head.
I stepped out and I have learned a few new things about myself and about others, its been wild, crazy and at times has been pretty darn fun.
Dating: Oh, this is a new one at almost 50 years old. I got asked out 3 times in one week. Nice for the ego. But here's the contestants all lined up
#1 - Nice guy, owns new home, cars and all of the big toys in life. He is nice looking, but I couldnt get past his big teeth. They were bigger than my truck, Im talking big! He asked me to go have a cup of coffee with him. That threw a red flag. (Really?? Coffee..Threw a red flag??) I enquired some more about him...Well, he has been in a recovery program for 2 years now and doesnt drink no more. I about choked or should I say, I did..It caught me off guard, and I blurted, "Oh, I dont do coffee"..His facial expression were lost and confussed. He handed me a business card and told me to call him sometime. As he left, I filed the card in the garbage can.
#2 - Basically all of the same as #1, but this guy is a hottie! The kind you really would like to scratch & sniff..But there was something with him I just could not put my finger on. Never went on a date with him, just talked on the phone. Then the truth be known, he's married! So that was that and along with it all... he is IN recovery
#3 - This one is super nice, not a hottie, but nice looking. But once again,
court ordered not to drink.
So to say the least, I have not been on a date
But I stand back and wonder, do I just attract all of these nuts???
OMG....Dont know what Im suppose to be learning thru all of this
but Im glad I learned enough to know better!
Recovered, Recovery, Sober or whatever they call it, IM NOT GOING THERE!!!
Words:I have learned that I can not, will not tolerate a man to talk to me with a gruff voice or harsh words. I encountered a conversation with a man that I work with in a fundraising event. His words were gruff and his attitude sucked. And to say the least, I kept QUIT the program within a blink of the eye, IM NOT GOING THERE AGAIN, never, ever again!!!
I also have a couple in which both of them are friends of mine, who just broke up. The man, played the head games with her and I watched her fall to peices and get all emotionally tore up. He called me and asked me what I thought. I told him I see it like this...It came across as control...then it landed in her lap as mental abuse. I asked him who in the hell gave you the right to do such things? Dont even take me there. I have no time for men like you. Pffftt...Have a great day by yourself, because IM NOT GOING THERE!!!
So the RED FLAGS have come up, and Im really happy that I am seeing them
Sure makes me feel like a witchey poo somedays, but I dont care. Im not going there!!!
I have found that laughter has been a great healing tool for me.
I am addicted to being around people that make me laugh
I had to sit back and really think about how many years its been that I really had a belly laugh. Dang, its been a long time. Now that I got a taste of it, I cant get enough.
Now when I am around other couples, its amazing to see what they will put up within their relationships, just to say they are with someone or just to say they are married. From the "single" side, it is very pathetic and sad to see. I step back and laugh and say to myself..IM NOT EVER GOING THERE!!!
The married girlfriends, WHOA!...This has been a very, very crazy one to see.
To hear their excuses, reason, stories, sadness of why their husbands drink.
"They are not alcoholics, they just like to drink everynight"...I CHOKE & Count to 10.....I dont try to fix it, I just offer a small peice of my experiance and hand them a Alanon brochure and tell them, it really helped me...
The dating thing.....Im not ready to go there
The word thing...I have 0% no fly zone locked in my head
Call me a B.I.T.C.H....like its a bad thing..I really dont care!
Thats my attitude and Im stickin' to it!!!
Somedays Im strong and somedays I fall to peices, but I know for sure
I am me and Im not going there ever again....
I need...I want...are 2 different things to me...I WANT!!!
