Thanks guys. I think the suggestions are great, perhaps a bit of boxing. It is true realising how much time you wasted drinking. It hits you like a train. Kelly Europe called me a dry drunk, I don't think that is true because I don't have any desire to drink I think that perhaps it is life and reflecting on how stupid I was to waste my 30's on being numb. One of my staff died last week, perhaps I am greiving and this is the angry stage he was so young. Kind of thinking of mortality and how important it is to look after yourself. I suppose I can not go back and change anything just move forward each day with great strides and get this energy out in a positive way.