I had the same conversation with my sponsor on Friday night!! My AH loves that game... "I brought you Vodka/Rum/whatever to make your favorite mixed drink!!" so that he can suck me into getting drunk with him... and then spin-doctor, "BUT YOU GOT DRUNK TOO!!!"
It's hard. But I like what TC said, it's not as much about the alcohol as it is about the "-ism". I can have one or two drinks, and stop. So, if I want to have a drink, I do.... and it doesn't matter whether or not AH is having one or not too. We are each individuals with the ability to do what we choose. My having a drink does not make him drink, nor does it make it okay for him to get drunk. If I have too many drinks, then that is my business and my business only. Same goes for him.
Like veryregretful said, I have come to a place where I will not drink more than a single drink around my AH... because 1) anymore than that gets thrown in my face and 2) I can not trust him to stay sober so I have to be the responsible parent, designated driver, etc.