My A has been abusive in the past. It's not always when he was drunk, but when he's sober it's the morning after. It doesn't happen often, and usually I have a pretty large hand in the argument, because my mouth gets away from me often, not that that's an excuse for his behavior, but I know I'm not completely innocent. The point is, I tell myself I stay for a few reasons. First, because I can't afford it on my own. Then, we have two small kids that he adores and they adore him. He's never been violent towards them. Basically, I believe there is good in him- just buried under the substances he chooses to be dependent on. We've always had pets, and he's ALWAYS been caring towards them. Never mean, never violent. He's NEVER tried to force me into sex, and when we have sex he's always a very considerate lover, alcohol or not (though I haven't had sex with him when he's been drinking in quite a while). He is generally a good person, good to the kids, good to animals. It doens't sound like your husband is good to anybody but your daughter, and then, not really because he's using her as a manipulation tool on you. I have had too many issues to count with my A's mother, and she no longer steps foot in my house, nor does she call it (if I'm lucky). But when she was around, she was a problem too. I would suggest you analyze why you're sticking with your husband. If you're attractive, confident, have a good job, enough money to support yourself and your children, and you seem like you're keeping it all together by yourslef with the kids' sports and activities, why bother? I've said a few times (and granted, have never followed through, but it sounds good!) that I would much rather be alone and happy than attached and miserable. Good Luck...