Hi Breec - when you talk about "my kids" does that mean they aren't his? Is he the stepfather? Whole different dynamic then!
Sounds like you are just worn out - job, kids, AH. It is a very tough load to carry with no help from the "man of the house".
While my AH has not been physically abusive for over a year now, the fear never really goes away. I am not always even conscious of it but when I look back at situations, I do see that I am constantly monitoring. I am sure this is a self-preservation measure and I thank my intuition and my God for watching out for me.
I hear the rage in your message in response to things he says to you. No you didn't stuff a sock in his mouth or hit him this time but its obvious that you are reaching your limit. You've got to vent or all that pressure will just go to your hips and most of us don't need any larger hips! Go to meetings, keep posting. Stay safe.
Live Strong