Hi WTBH,
Don't have any answers for you, but am sending moral support.
I had a somewhat parallel experience with XH and a legal system that did not seem to help me protect my child. Scary and frustrating! It can make you feel crazy and cornered. I still have flashbacks years later.
I hope you can take some support from SR. It sounds like you are doing the best you can under difficult circumstances.
And congrats on getting a job!