I have no experience in your type of situation and my heart goes out to you. You are right. As much as you have described your situation for us, none of us are there in your shoes living it, and it sounds pretty intense. I would absolutely need every single Alanon tool, and then some, to manage.
I hope you will get some good experience, strength and hope as well as some comfort from people who will post here.
Someone once told me, when I really needed to hear it, that people tend to imagine that what they are going through right now feels like it's going to last forever and we need to remember that time passes and things change. It's comforting to think this when you are in a rough spot. It will not last forever, things change, it can and will get better.
Thinking of you. Hope you can get some rest to recharge your batteries.