I pretty much agree with everything being said here, with a caveat. Had I depended on my wife at all for my own recovery it would have certainly caused a serious relapse - as I came to find out she was having an affair shortly after being newly newly sober again (I had just come out of a relapse at the time).
Fortunately my recovery eggs were in a basket that she was insulated from, so the devastating discovery didn't cause me to have any alcoholic explosions. Had I involved her or depended on her for any support during my own recovery and self discovery, or more specifically, had I not been savvy of the co-dependency issues that can easily creep into the healthiest of marriage relationships - it would have destroyed me to discover her affair and some sort of epic relapse would have been certain for me.
I'm no expert by any stretch, but my gut tells me it's best if ones' recovery is not shared or supported in any relationship that hasn't been established as a result of the recovery itself. What I mean is that anyone - be it friends, family, coworkers - the whole lot should not take part in any way, once recovery is the goal. Too many chances for things to get entangled, judgmental, and complicated IMHO.