In 12-Step recovery, there is one place to go - The Doctor's Opinion at the beginning of the book Alcoholics Anonymous - the "Big Book." If a mental obsession drives you to drink when you don't want to - meaninf if you can't stop and stay stopped - and, when you do drink, a physical craving makes it difficult to control how much you drink - ever, not always - then you are probably an alcoholic. The next 40-50 pages include the author's story and other information that helps one decide. Best wishes to you - and remember there is a chapter that is actually titled "There is a Solution."