CriticalPoint

When I go out with friends I drink a lot, but I never get into trouble from it. Sometimes I'll maybe get sleepy and put my head down on the bar at the end of the night, but I never drive drunk, have never been in a fight, haven't gotten into arguments, etc.

What concerns me though is that I'm craving a drink as early as lunch time. I often spend the day counting down the hours until I can get a beer. If people I work with aren't going out for a drink, I'll come home and drink by myself. Not straight vodka or anything, but I'll down 5-8 beers and listen to music. I do this maybe 1-2x's in a week. Its actually really enjoyable when I'm doing it, but at the end of the night I feel a little pathetic and guilty.

What's really made me question this lifestyle is a girl I met a few weeks ago. We were drinking together one night and had a fantastic time. She wanted to see me again, but I never called her after that b/c I was afraid of how boring I'd seem to her sober. I only wanted to see her again if I had 6 beers in me first. Obviously I can't date a girl if I have to be loaded around her all the time to feel comfortable. Being an introvert I've come to depend on alcohol SO much to get me out there.

Anyway, I really like this place, and reading your stories has given me strength. Thanks.

sugarbear1

You put your head...what? I never blacked out, I just joked about not remembering what happened last night. I never passed out, I just fell asleep in the living room. I didn't drink much, I just drank to change the way I felt.

Only you can answer your question.

Hi. I'm sugarbear and I'm an alcoholic. Welcome to SR!

Try listening to an aa speaker online. See if you can relate.

Taking5

Don't worry about the label. Try to quit for a month. Zero alcohol. See how much you struggle with not drinking. If nothing else you'll have a better idea if you are alcoholic or not.

grateful101010

People who aren't alcoholics don"t lie awake at night wondering if they are alcoholics. --Caroline Knapp, Drinking: A Love Story

Dee74

Welcome CriticalPoint

Only you can make that that judgemtn - but in my experience regularly craving a drink is a red flag...as is wondering if you can socialise with people sober...

and I'd never get away with falling asleep on the bar in my country

You'll find a lot of support and advice here - welcome

D

hector

I'd like to suggest reading the first few chapters of the AA Big Book. It's available at Alcoholics Anonymous : Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Also google "20 Questions Alcoholism."

eJoshua

What I hear is: "what I'm doing isn't really getting me in any trouble or hurting anyone, so how can I be an alcoholic?"

Am I right?

Only you can make the determination, but it sounds like you are beginning to depend on alcohol to be able to function, and that's a road that leads to a very dark place.

My advice would be to stop before you find yourself where I was, where those 5-6 beers a night a few times per week turn into a bottle of vodka a day, and no longer are you looking forward to a drink, but you're acting on those impulses. At noon, 11am.... as soon as you wake up.

Even if you never get to that point though, it sounds like your life is already starting to feel a little out of control. Why put up with it?

If you decide to make a change for the better we will be here to support.

Best wishes

JimE

I needed that liquid courage to be around women in a dating situation too. It was my fear buster. I had never been on a date that didn't involve getting buzzed on something or other. Going to meetings I met women who didn't want to drink so that common bond helped me to get over the fear, slowly. :-)

CriticalPoint

Thanks for the feedback everyone, I really appreciate it. Tomorrow will mark one week since my last drink. Last night I managed to go out with a couple of friends who were drinking without partaking. It was really hard. I kept trying to convince myself that I was making something out of nothing, that having a couple beers is harmless, but deep down I knew I was really saying, "I'll get pissed tonight and start the sobriety thing when the weekend is over."

I want to be done with drinking for good. I wish I never let myself get so liberal with it.

mandinka

I can relate to drinking to socialise and feeling unable to without being drunk. I can't answer your question only you can, but cravings are an alert.
I also used to think alcohol was'nt affecting my life or people around me just until recently. I started like you drinking now and then. Now i go on benders for up to a week drinking a crazy amount and really upsetting people around me, and making bad choices while drunk and even getting myself in dangerous situations. Its progressive.

Squizz

I always look at it like this:

If you're not an alcoholic, you'll just know you're not. If you have to ask yourself the question, "Am I an alcoholic." odds are, you probably are one.

CriticalPoint

^^ Huge B-Hop fan over here. He's someone that inspires me to get sober. Dude hasn't had a drink in 20 years.

shadeofplato

I certainly agree with these words. Of course, self-reliance is a good personal quality, but it's very easy to get overconfident in such issues as addiction. My adolescent beliefs that I'm the most smartest, the most cute, etc didn't harm me half so seriously as my belief that I'm not an addict did.

least

I agree. Normal drinkers never question if they have a problem cause they don't have a problem. Only us heavy drinkers question it.

I finally gave it up for good twenty months ago and haven't felt this good in a long time. I don't miss it now and I love waking up feeling good and without regrets and self hatred.

Welcome to the family.

shadeofplato

As for me, just a thought that I've woken in my own bed and I don't have to overcome headache and try to remember what did I do last night makes me feel good :-)

saphira

Hi Critical... Congrats on one week! Good for you! As far as your original question, I never got in any trouble while drinking-- NEVER drove drunk or anything like that. Yet I knew that my drinking wasn't normal and it definitely wasn't normal how much thought I gave it. You don't have to cause trouble to have problems with alcohol. I wish you continued success!!

twilli59

In 12-Step recovery, there is one place to go - The Doctor's Opinion at the beginning of the book Alcoholics Anonymous - the "Big Book." If a mental obsession drives you to drink when you don't want to - meaninf if you can't stop and stay stopped - and, when you do drink, a physical craving makes it difficult to control how much you drink - ever, not always - then you are probably an alcoholic. The next 40-50 pages include the author's story and other information that helps one decide. Best wishes to you - and remember there is a chapter that is actually titled "There is a Solution."

DayTrader

If a mental obsession drives you to drink when you don't want to - meaning if you can't stop and stay stopped - and, when you do drink, a physical craving makes it difficult to control how much you drink - ever, not always - then you are probably an alcoholic.

Kinda hits the nail on the head, doesn't it?

eddie73

If you have utterly no control over alcohol when you drink, or at least end up this way after weeks of attempting not to, you are an alcoholic. You may have to find this out the hard way so spare yourself the bother and accept the reality. I hope you work a program and stay well.

chicagoJ

I would say that if you are thinking about drinking and count the hours until you can have that drink then your brain is transforming into the same pattern of an alcoholic. For some people this can happen with getting drunk just 1 time. Others maybe it takes much longer. But, it may not be long before you have no control over whether you drink or not. So, it seems you have made a great decision to get away from it. Best of luck.