Hi,
In my experience, living with an alcoholic is very stressful, unfortunately, we codies can become as sick as the alcoholic, and, our emotions will jump all over the place at the drop of a hat.
Your recovery is not dependent on her, you can use her as an excuse to drink, but, that is pure fodder. She does not have the power to make you drink, yet you have the power to control you and not drink.
I would suggest that she attend Alanon meetings.
Congrats on your 21 days!