Originally Posted by wanttobehealthy

so much for peace... i've been getting non stop texts saying that his drinking isn't the problem and i am sick to be convincing myself that our marriage is over bc of his drinking. telling me i have taken no responsibility for my contributions. admittedly a part of me wants to respond and defend and try to "explain" that it's not the drinking per se as much as the behaviors/attitudes/inability to be a part of a r/s that come as a result of the drinking that are problematic for me. but he knows this. he also knows i am not blaming him and that i've made it clear that i am doing this bc i don't like who i have become as part of this marriage. it's my expectations, my hopes, my inability to accept things as they are that is the problem. i've told him this for months and am not responding to defend myself or my decisions anymore. but it's still hard. he's doing a bang up job of convincing himself that he's the victim and that i'm irrational. i guess that's his perogative and i'm thisclose to blocking his number from my cell and letting him know that if he wants to talk to the girls he will need to call the home phone and can communicate with me in writing.

sigh... why won't he see it? why doesn't he want a different life? (for himself- not for me, not for the girls... but for HIM?). how is this way of living pleasant or even tolerable for him? it's all just so sad.