Bayliss,
You probably aren't yourself anymore, because chronic drinking alters one's personality. Opivotal is correct in that if you quit drinking, most of the drama will end, although it will take a while for you to readjust completely.
I know that many on here, myself included, have given you some suggestions. The only question you need to ask yourself is - have you had enough to try and quit for good, and not just on a trial basis?
Once you answer that, everything else will be easier.