artist83
My hook in my relationship was letters and moments like what you received.
My A was unable to express himself clearly or well most of the time, and real emotion seemed to come up when he would drink. I was working my own recovery at the time and I knew talking or writing about "feelings" were important for my recovery, so they must be for him too I figured.
It took me awhile to see a big difference though. While I was talking and working out my feelings I was not under the influence.
I don't think that means that those words were not said or written were not true. I think they were from his core, but as time went on I needed him to access them at other times too, not only when he was drinking. I needed him to be able to remember them and share them with me the next day. I needed to see behavior that backed up those words. I think he loved me the best he could. I know that. In the end though I needed him to love himself enough to get the help he needed.
I would not trade one moment of my relationship that got me here. I am right where I need to be and learning what I need to learn. My guess is you are too.