Sadly, I agree with the fact that we non-A's end up looking and feeling more insane than the actual A. I use to sneak all over town because I didn't want my ex or anyone that knew me back while I dated him to see me. Why???? I did nothing wrong. He should be the one slinking around town like a snake. But, he made me feel like I was the worst insane/psychopath/stage 5 clinger in town......and I believed him! He told everyone we knew that he drank because of me and everyone thought I was such a b*tch for doing that to him. He's so good at convincing everyone what a stand-up guy he is. Now I know that is alcoholism at work because he is nothing but a big walking/talking damaged brain with some sociopathy thrown in.
Now, I don't care what anyone thinks. I shed that past life and all the people in it like a snake sheds its skin. I try to have amnesia about that period in my life and move forward because its too hard for me to rehash and right all the wrongs because there are too many. I know all the good people from my past know the real truth. I try to think of it as a brand new life and today is fresh with no mistakes in it!