wtbh, you had mentioned on one of your posting about habitual drunkenness, do you live in a no fault state? I do and one of the things my AH was worried about when he said he wouldn't go through the divorce is that I threatened to divorce him on the grounds of habitual drunkenness. If you AH is so worried about how he looks to others tell him you won't file under those grounds of drunkenness and would file under Irreconcilable Differences if and only if he backs off of having the kids.