I get what you are feeling. Anger is good sometimes, it movitates us. Sounds like you are sliding into a depression though. Depression magnifies all the negative thoughts.
I get angry a lot lately. And I was never an enabler. He went into rehab because of the fact that when he was without anyone, I stayed a friend and helped him see what it was he was doing. He hated being there though so he decided on his own to go into rehab.I stayed supportive through out, only to have him push me away. I was furious. Not that he got help of course but that the last person to really make him feel semi human is the first one that was pushed away. We never drank together but I know I was a bit more codependent than I realized.
You can look at it another way (I too dislike this idea that I am flawed so I need to go to meetings. We are all flawed, I know what mine are and i work on them every day) but meetings do help you reclaim YOURSELF. We lose ourselves in these relationships. It isn't about them, it is about US. If meetings don't work than read up on codependency. That is always an eye opener. We give so much and get back little or nothing. So who is the person that needs to heal from that set up, us. It is a deeply internal process that may begin with blocking calls etc but that alone isn't going to do the work inside of us that allows ourselves to be used emotionally by others.
Hope you find someone you can talk to in person soon and some peace.