I think it is an issue for you because you have some resentments about your parents sheltering your brother and his wife. And now they are trying to tell you what to do.
I would not drink around an alcoholic. I think it would be disrespectful so for the family dinners I would refrain from having a drink. No big deal. Unless the issue really isn't the alcohol.
The not going to your house deal does sound controlling. Are you drinking in front of them or offering- like if you had a social gathering and were serving? Or is it a family meal and they just wont come over because there is wine in the cabinet. Maybe you need to talk to your parents about this. They may think they are saving one son but they might be losing another.