I could have written your post, minus the quitting my job to have a baby. It certainly is insidious -- and amazing how working out every day makes it seem impossible for others to believe you're an alcoholic.
Despite my wine at night I still always got up at 6am to hit the gym!
Personally it's been a lot easier for me to quit drinking entirely than worry about what is an "okay" amount, but you will find your own path. Welcome!
GG
--NOT an "oldie" at 37--