Autumn - I'm coming late to this discussion, and I applaud you holding to your values. I've just broken up with my boyfriend of 5 years. No one in our circle of friends can understand it, because he's a great guy. I had a fantasy today of going to his funeral, and being accused of not standing by him, because, frankly, his drinking has gotten worse since I left. Before I left, he was bingeing 3 to 5 times a week.
When we were dating, he didn't get drunk around me, for months, until he did. The more I tried to stop it, the worse it got, it seemed. Until I stopped trying to control his drinking. Instead, I got a handle on my rage and my values (in that order).
Now I live a drama-free, alcohol-free, TV-free life - without him. I'm still crying into my pillow on Saturday nights, but only then, which is a huge improvement.
Thanks for sharing your story ~ I wish I'd come here first.
- Sylvie