Originally Posted by
Raindance 
The mood here is helping eachother. If you need help, that's what we're here for, not sunshine and carebears out our ass, that's just not realistic.
Ok, when I first read this, I laughed (mainly at the carebear visual). Then I was angry. I am not sure why, but I was. Then I started crying. Again, who knows why. I always get automatically defensive and I guess that I wasnt expecting what I read. I stepped away for a bit and came back. I am glad I did.
I guess I wanted to check in and see how everyone was doing. I think sometimes I have a bit of "sober-envy" too sometimes. I am so happy that some are doing very well in their journey. I guess I just want to feel the same. But I don't, and that's okay too. I just need to know that someday I will, but I can't know that for sure. That's the control freak coming out in me. Also, I don't want to go on and on about all of my issues...oh, poor me. I guess just saying that I am having trouble helps me. I am not sure if this is making any sense. Bottom line, I was hoping that I would feel better by now... but there are a lot more issues to deal with just not drinking.
I have no idea why I am posting this but feel better doing it. I have a very hard time putting words into sentences right now let alone my emotions. I am not offended by anyone, that's not how I want to come across to anyone.