thanks laurie, i will give that a try.
as for my "one foot out the door" there is so much uncertainty today. if he won't even listen to his own mom and sister, or me, then what hope do i have that he will ever go in for help. all i do is cry. and shake (you might think i was the one in withdrawl!). its horrible. and my work just gave me more duties and i have to attend meetings, etc....its so stressful and i want so much to do a good job and concentrate and do the best job i can do. but all i do is dwell on that SOB all day long and i hate calling him that because i do know its a disease but i can't help it. i know people with cancer who don't resort to treating thier loved ones like crap...so i can't help the anger. all i want to do is get off this roller coaster as smoothly as possible. the pets are just another obstacle to overcome