InaneVandel-
Though I don't share a lot of experience strength and hope exactly with your story I have found a lot of support in reading a variety of books by Claudia Black who specializes in families with addiction in them. I learned from then that for me it was less about a definition for the person struggling and more about the impact it had on me.
I also really like Melody Beattie, information here, and have gotten a lot out of Al-Anon meetings too.
Mostly though I wanted to say welcome and that you are not alone.