InaneVandal

Hey there, first time poster.

I don't really know where to start effectively - but anywhere is good I suppose. I apologize if this becomes entwined with some ranting (And long.), but this has been going on for some time and I can't help but spill over with emotion and long explanation.



My mom I'm pretty sure has a drinking problem - when others have witnessed what I've dealt with or when I explain anything, they jump to that conclusion - I think she does at this point too.

(I'm not oblivious, by any means - It's just, difficult to fully say and admit it and figure out how to deal with it.)

I'm currently 22, and for as long as I remember my mom has had the occasional affair with the bottle.

I guess my confusion lays in what really defines an alcoholic...and relates back to why I have in the past and even up to now been so weak in laying out the word alcoholic.

She doesn't drink every night - sometimes a week or so can go by and she won't have anything, or sometimes it's a few days in a week depending - but I can probably could on one hand the times she's stepped away after one drink rather than consume or finish off the bottle.

The issue lies in just that, she hardly can just have a 'drink'. She consistently gets completely over served, and in cases at parties gets beyond drunk, barely walking and not even aware of her actions.

This has resulted over the years in much built up frustration, and anger, and lack of emotional organization for myself as a result of growing up with this behavior.

Along with this drinking she becomes verbally abusive, incredibly rude and disrespectful (I think back to the years of drunk arguments and insults tossed toward my father that I've witnessed), embarrassing and even has caused harm to herself. (She broke her elbow while drunk at 3 in the morning when I was younger, to this day she tells everyone it was because she slipped and fell on our kitchen floor.)


Previously, as I was younger, I could get away with trying to ignore it, not tell people, not have friends over around her when she was drunk if I could avoid it - or even just 'go with the flow' when I'd have to actually deal with her. But as the years have gone on, I find my patience and care to be non existent with her and I let it get to me so much more since I know how much ******** I'm being handed. I try not to start fights or be rude, because I know it will just inflate the issue - and it never helps to say anything about it WHILE one is drunk. (I foolishly made that mistake in a fit of anger back in high school when she started to try to physically throw my possessions out of misplaced drunk rage and it resulted in her putting the fault onto me and throwing me out of the house for the night.)

I've wanted to say something for some time now because it's starting to impact the relationship with my mom when she's normal, sober mom. I'm more angry these days, short tempered, and it's difficult for me to express any depth of emotion (Happy, sad etc) without being excessively overwhelmed from pent up conflict and emotion from this issue, and just start crying or something completely off kilter.

I just don't know if she sincerely forgets most of what she does because she's so drunk sometimes or if it's just blatant ignorance to what she has done the previous night when she's up the next morning.

She recently did something pretty terrible while incredibly drunk - and just the next day I didn't even know what to do. I didn't know if she forgot because she was so wasted and if she didn't - how on earth do I confront someone? I get so conflicted because for so many years I've associated my mom as two different people when drunk/sober, so it's difficult for me to confront or even talk about this issue with the mom that isn't the problem, when I KNOW it is - it's just. e__e Too much.

I don't even know where I'd start. Or if it's even worth it anymore - I want this to no longer be an issue, but I don't really have anyone to back me up, (siblings, I don't think I could even ask her friends for help.)

...

Goodness, I've typed a lot, sorry this kind of is all over.




TL;DR: My mom probably has a drinking problem, where do I start? I'm scared to even confront this even though it causes me so many issues.

Are there any decent resources, or pointers or places anyone can direct me to for figuring out how to bring this up? I just am also afraid that I'll lose it and say some horrible things out of frustration and pent up anger/sadness.

/sigh

Either way. Thank you very much for reading, I appreciate your time. Thank you!