Thanks for sharing, GIT. You'll never know how many people you've helped and will help.
You owe yourself a happy recovery. I suggest you go to AA. You'll find like minded people who are just trying to do what you're trying to do - stay sober one day at a time. You're not a bad person trying to get good, you're a sick person trying to get well. Our job is to get as well as we can before we die.
My sobriety date is Nov. 27, 1988. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.