Living one day at a time is a great way to live...but it think it also applies to our expectations for others too.
Your wife is obviously still mulling over some past stuff...I had to deal with that too with certain people in my life...I learned I don't get to set the timetable on that process.
Just as we have our journey and our stuff to work through, our loved ones have theirs.
They're not always parallel but hopefully we all end up in the same place
You're doing all the right things now...trust in that Schwaber
D