AutumnBeauty

Hi all,
I've been with my BF (now fiance) for over 2 years. However, I feel I should break it off because alcohol.

A little history:
He didn't appear to drink much when we first started dating - maybe just on rare occasion when he was out with the boys. He'd pride himself on being able to out drink them. But then it escalated to him buying a bottle of rum to drink alone at home. For a while he did that maybe once a month...then it increased to every weekend.... Multiple times, I've seen him consume a liter of rum (mixed with coke) in 2 days. His tolerance is very high. He is on a diet and is prescribed meds for high blood pressure. The alcohol makes his weight and blood pressure go up, but that doesn't usually stop him. He sometimes feels guilty the next day when he'd step on a scale and see he gained weight. A year ago, I expressed my concern that he was becoming an alcoholic. He cut back his drinking for a few months but then it slowly has escalated back up again. He is in the military and failed the run portion of his PT test 4 months ago. After that, I figured he'd temporarily stop drinking and train hard to ensure he passed next time. He didn't...and this month he re-tested and failed his PT again. Other than that, he has been totally functional: he never seems drunk, he just got promoted at work, he's always on-time, he always wakes up hang-over free, ect. It would be easy to ignore the empty liquor bottle and think everything is fine.

We are in a long distance relationship, so I only see him for several consecutive days once or twice a month. During my visit in May, I watched him consumed several Long Islands + 1.5 bottles of rum (each containing 750 mL) in about 2 days. During my 4 day visit in April, he drank about 8 servings of alcohol/day the first 3 days. Then on the 4th day we got into an argument and he proceeded to drink between 1p-10p: 3 Long Island Ice Teas, 4 Rum and Cokes, a 325 mL bottle if whiskey mixed with coke, and a cocktail glass of straight-up rum. He passedout in my bed at 10p and woke up the next morning head-ache free.

So here's the problem:
I tried to break it off over 3 weeks ago. I told him that his drinking was just too much for me and I'm concerned he is becoming an alcoholic. I told him that I love him but that I'm afraid he is heading down a path of self-destruction and I do not want to be part of it. He was very calm but insisted that he did not have a problem. After we hung up, he texts me that he "did not have time for this drama" and that he'd call me in a week. Three weeks later he called. He said that he'd quit drinking FOR ME (not for himself). He also said he felt cheated because I had "let him drink" even though its such a problem to me. I have previously warned him twice (once during the 1st year and once during the 2nd year) that I would not marry an alcoholic and I was concerned about his drinking. Other than that....he's right.... I really haven't nagged him about the drinking. This is partly because I know nagging gets me no where with him and also because I wanted to see his true colors. I was afraid he'd hide it if I kept complaining about it.

He doesn't want to break up and is calling me again tonight. I don't know what is the best thing to say to him. I'm starting to doubt myself and wonder if I'm making a mistake by breaking it off. I'm also 35 yrs old so I recognize that if I break this off, I may not meet someone else in time to ever have children. I really do love this man but I'm afraid of where the future could lead with him.

Any words of advice???