Thank you Rayn3dr0p for your post.
As I read it I wondered if anyone who has experienced living with alcoholism can ever know what it is like to live a "normal" life that includes alcohol but not alcohol abuse? (not referring to your posting specifically, it just prompted this thought)
I know that because of my experience with my AH I tend to rush into wondering if other people in my life are alcoholic.
And now, in my memories where alcohol existed, the alcohol has become a main factor. My memories have changed because the way I look back is from a different viewpoint.
I am probably not explaining myself well but what I mean is if you took an event (that doesn't even include my AH) where alcohol was available, no alcohol-based drama took place, and took out the fact of me experiencing my AH's alcoholism, would I remember that event differently and would the alcohol even be a factor in this different memory?
The closest thing I can think is seeing a movie I remember as entertaining before AH has this problem and seeing the same movie afterwards and feeling revulsion.
I know that because of my experience I am now very, very rarely have a drink and I wonder what it would be like to enjoy the occasional drink or glass of wine without feeling guilty or nervous.
I hate what alcohol is doing to my husband, his addiction to it, the cost to our family etc. and I just cannot see, if indeed it is possible, for anyone to have a healthy life that includes alcohol. I am sure some people can do it, but everything I see now is through my new "alco-vision" lenses.
Sorry, I am thinking out loud and non too clearly here. and off-topic.