marblack

My b/f has been sober for 6 weeks. He is still rude to me, ignores me, isn't emotionally there for me. Our sex life is a oneway street. I know TMI. We have a 2 year old together. It just kills me to watch him with our son. He loves him so much but yet he doesn't want to work on us. He told me last night he doesn't love me and I honesty think he never has. He told me he couldn't stand me and how pathetic I am. I try to get near to him but I just get rejection. Everything I do is wrong. He actually told me he wants me to move out. He found that I was past due on a few bills. Honestly I am not good with money. When he got drunk and unrulely I shopped. IT made me feel good at the time. Since finding the bills are past due. He unleashed last night. My heart is aching....I do care for him. My instinct is telling me to leave. I think me and my son will be better off. It isn't healthy for him to watch us fight. I don't know why I have such a hard time between my head and heart. I am just sick of getting walked on....and dealing with his anger my anger....I wish I could make things right. I think its too far gone. Does anyone have any advice...How do I work thru all of the CHAOS? The thought of me packing up to leave makes me want to wail. The tears keep flowing. Does it get better once you leave ???? How do I know if I am making the right decision? Why should I stay? I have been looking for an apartment, he doesn't know it. I have until thursday to make a decision. Any advice? Mary