StPeteGrad

Day Trader- great response. I quoted part of it in an email to my wife concerning some serious problems we're having on this very matter.

You need to find a way to be stable and happy regardless. The minute you start requiring other ppl to bring happiness to you by acting or "being" a certain way, you're setting yourself up for failure.

There's a line in AA - "So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves....." I hated that line.... I felt it was telling me everything's my fault.....or that I was the cause of all the pain I was feeling. What it's REALLY saying is that if something hurts me once, that's on them......but the problem (for me) is that I continue to relive that pain. I think about it, I mull it over, I ponder it, I relive the events that led up to it, etc etc........THAT'S what "resentment" means - to "re-feel." The first time something hurt me was bad enough....the BIG problem are the 1000's of additional times I re-live that stupid event, over and over, in my head. If the original pain hurt at level 6, reliving the darn thing takes it up to pain at level 20!