Wow!
First of all husband and I have been separated and does not live with me, he rents a house.
Second, two lawyers suggested I do something or else I would have nothing to back up the addiction when I file for divorce and attempt to limit custody to protect my 14 year old son and the friends he has over to his father's house.
Third, I thought long and hard, saw my counselor who called me personally and spent all week praying, thinking it through, etc.
Fourth, lawyers said I would be charged for child endangerment, if since I know about the pot that husband would be driving under the influence, pulled over with son in vehicle.
Fifth, detective called me Monday morning, today to ask me more questions he will be going over to talk to husband at his rented house tomorrow, asking him to hand over the pot and husband will either turn himself in or detective will cuff him and take him in.
Detective said he will have a fine and be charged, and some probation. Asked me if husband had any guns, I said he never did at our home, didn't think he did there. Told him my AH is a good person who has a disease, owns his own company, does not have any dogs.
Sixth, if I did nothing I would be enabling him..........doesn't that fit in with recovery?mine? Would you have suggested I go over to husband and ask him to get rid of plants and stop smoking pot and drinking, isn't that the opposite of detachment? (And let's face it, he wouldn't stop he is an ADDICT!) in denial.....
Seventh, what does this meanTransformthyself? "I know lots of parents whose kids have killed themselves after he dropping dirty, because they had to go back to prison. Prison is like torture. You'll see."
Eighth: I am not trying to control his usage, just his impact on my son! I have had it with this man and I am sad for him, but I have given up control of his usage long ago, even before he left.
Ninth: The house I live in is still in both our names, so it is his responsibility too and with AH living in rental house at $1200 a month, there is little money left to pay someone to take care of the tree. I had to tell him about the tree, it is his house too, for now, I am an honest person and I detached the entire time they were here, and I took care to bundle the brush to be picked up by the city so he wouldn't be around. The limb was dead and about to break, causing extensive damage to our home so yes I called AH, his best friend cuts down trees for a living and is an expert.
Sorry if I sound defensive, I am practicing standing up for myself, something I don't usually do.......All your words are so helpful and I have thought this through.