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I did it! I reported him to the police!

Old 07-22-2011, 08:39 PM
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I did it! I reported him to the police!

I decided to get a bite to eat for lunch, and on my way my counselor called me and said she thought calling the police on my AH was the right thing to do and she supported me. She said people would be very angry with me, but they may never know it was me. So, I called the Narcotics/Vice dept. and left a message for the detectives. They did not return my call by 4:00 so I called again, left another message, laid on the sofa and they called at 4:30! He said I would remain anonymous, to send him the pictures I took of the marijuana plants in his backyard, via email, he asked questions about the backyard (fencing, etc.) and said they would get to it early next week. I was surprised they didn't do anything today, but I suppose this is minor compared to what they have to deal with. So I felt better, went to a consignment shop with my friend, bought my son 4 dress shirts and 2 pairs of khaki's for his first year of High School, ate dinner and came home to find a huge tree limb on my house! AH and friends came by to look at it, all were drunk or close to it and said it would be ok until tomorrow. Weird that I saw him knowing what I did to him today and how his life might change next week. Weird that tomorrow my only child will be 14 and the joy my AH and I shared on that day is a fleeting memory.

I feel a lot less stress, a little lighter and feel I made the right decision for my son and our future. Now I will let go and let God take over the rest. All day I sat, prayed, read Courage to Change, the Bible and just listened and when I finally decided to make the call I felt at peace, so I know it was the right thing to do.......

thank you all for your input!!!!
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Old 07-22-2011, 08:50 PM
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Depending on the layout of the yard, the police can't just go in and do something without a warrant.

I don't know the law where you live, so it may not be the drama you think it will be. Some places, he would probably get a summons for municipal court and pay a fine or get a diversion.

Hope it works out the way you hope it will. I suspect, though, even if he stops growing the plants, he will still have marijuana in his home.

Good luck,
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Old 07-22-2011, 08:54 PM
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Yes Lexie but at least when I file for divorce there will be documentation of this that will help me with getting AH to be clean when parenting or supervised.....I know it is not going to make everything perfect, but it is a start! thanks
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Old 07-22-2011, 09:20 PM
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You did good!!!!!!

It is called C Y A (cover your azz) roflmao

I hope you also called the Insurance Company to get one of their adjusters out there to get figure out a cost of getting it removed and repairs to the roof. lol

Other than that, you will have the 'police report', and that will go a long way with a family court judge on 'parenting issues'.

Enjoy your weekend, and if your 14 year old isn't to prone to a hug now and then give him one for me, lol

Love and hugs,
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Old 07-22-2011, 09:42 PM
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The detectives said they would say the meter guy noticed the plants and filed a report, the yard is open, no gates, etc. We had a major thunderstorm with 60 mph winds today so who knows if the plants are still there, but I sent the pics I took to them, pics show house from many angles too. Now to figure out when to start talking to my son about his father's abuse of marijuana on top of alcohol.........I think I will save it for after next week (anyone feel like yawning or actually do after you look at this emoticon???)
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Old 07-23-2011, 06:07 AM
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Originally Posted by jackthedog View Post
Yes Lexie but at least when I file for divorce there will be documentation of this that will help me with getting AH to be clean when parenting or supervised.....I know it is not going to make everything perfect, but it is a start! thanks
You did a great job! Give yourself a hug, gal!
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Old 07-23-2011, 08:11 AM
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I think you made the right decision to report him to the cops. However, I do not believe it will be a huge deal to the police. Currently the drug war is so rampant that pot growing isn't a high priority.
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Old 07-23-2011, 09:43 AM
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You did good.

You didn't call because you vindictively wanted him to go to prison for a trillion years. You called because the extra documentation will help your son.
Those are good reasons, and good actions.

Who knows what they'll do about it, but at least now there's documentation to assist with custody/visitation.
Good job.

Originally Posted by jackthedog View Post
(anyone feel like yawning or actually do after you look at this emoticon???)
Me.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:41 PM
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Good for you! I suspect the "next week" bit is to get a warrant, dot all the I's and cross all the T's, so to speak. As far as I know, at least in this state, rush warrants are only available if there's a suspected violent crime. Reading this really helped me -- I've been struggling with a very different issue on the face of it, but it does come down to calling the police on my AH. In fact, he's out driving drunk right now -- and once again, I can't quite make myself call in the plate number. I know I need to, that someone else could get hurt by my inaction, and I think a lot of the block just centers around whether or not he'll know I called. I suppose if he's caught out on the road, there's no reason for him to suspect ANYONE called, or that maybe the liquor store called him in since he's already been there today and obviously has imbibed since then -- and he doesn't have a license, and has a bench warrant for driving without a license and not paying his fine, so it's not like he could come right home and confront me about it.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:51 PM
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I don't know that they need a warrant. The phone report along with the pics. amount to reasonable cause, much like an infraction with a vehicle is reasonable cause to search it without a warrant. I just don't think a non traficing home grow-op of hobby size is a big deal to them. They'll undoubtedly get to it when it's convenient for them. Still a good call on your part. Your kids are priority one.
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Old 07-24-2011, 07:04 PM
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Good job!
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Old 07-24-2011, 08:46 PM
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when I file for divorce there will be documentation of this that will help me with getting AH to be clean when parenting or supervised.....
Dont' count in it. Your husband, like I said depending on which state you live in, most likely will be raided (hope you dont' have a dog you like too much, they like to shoot them right away) arrested, prosecuted and put into the system. He'll have to pay fines, take classes or both.

Lots of true addicts end up in prison because they can't stay clean and get drug tested.

I know lots of parents whose kids have killed themselves after he dropping dirty, because they had to go back to prison. Prison is like torture. You'll see.

This friend wrote about it:

The Santa Barbara Independent The War on Drugs 40 Years Later

Not sure how your attempting to control his usage by calling the police is considered healthy or good for you or him, but I"m deeply saddened by your choice. I think it's a horrible thing to do to an addict, especially if you think you're "helping," him. So sad..
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Old 07-24-2011, 09:21 PM
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Originally Posted by transformyself View Post
Not sure how your attempting to control his usage by calling the police is considered healthy or good for you or him, but I"m deeply saddened by your choice. I think it's a horrible thing to do to an addict, especially if you think you're "helping," him. So sad..
I guess we read different messages here -- it sounded to me more like something the OP doesn't want a kid around. I could be wrong, I haven't followed up on other posts and such, but that's what I got out of it, which seemed like a very reasonable reason to act. (wow, reasonable reason...I can't think of a way to re-word that, so can we just forget I write for a living for a sec? )
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Old 07-24-2011, 10:18 PM
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I write for a living also, and have noticed if I spend hours in front of the computer writing, it switches my brain around. I have noun dyslexia and other bizarre issues. go outside and look at the horizon every hour, that can help.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:00 PM
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I haven't been around for a while, but I am leaning towards what transform said. The idea in recovery, with detachment, is not to keep a disaster from happening, but not to go out of our way to cause one to happen either.

If she doesn't want her kid around someone who insists on growing pot on their property, I guess leaving the husband and house would be an option. Again, I haven't been around, nor do I know the whole story. But making a decision like that, in the hopes that it will affect the way he will choose to live the rest of his life (being clean while parenting) is setting yourself up for disappointment.

I also agree with the dog comment, I remember back in Illinois an undercover police officer came to the house to question me about some events that happened at a barn I used to work at. One of our dogs was at the front door barking, defending his home and us from this stranger walking in our yard, and before the guy was even halfway up the walk, his gun holster was unclipped, and his hand was on his weapon. He started yelling at my roomate, who came to the front door to find a plain clothes man with a gun in our front yard, saying he was going to shoot our dog. An out of uniform officer , trespassing on our property, was threatening to shoot our dog, before he even made it to the front door.

Be careful what you wish for.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:28 PM
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I remember back in Illinois an undercover police officer came to the house to question me about some events that happened at a barn I used to work at. One of our dogs was at the front door barking, defending his home and us from this stranger walking in our yard, and before the guy was even halfway up the walk, his gun holster was unclipped, and his hand was on his weapon. He started yelling at my roomate, who came to the front door to find a plain clothes man with a gun in our front yard, saying he was going to shoot our dog. An out of uniform officer , trespassing on our property, was threatening to shoot our dog, before he even made it to the front door.
Kitty, this was a narcotics detective doing some investigative work. A paramilitary drug squad serving a warrant will already know if there are dogs, guns, money, and vaulable items in the house. Their first course of action is to shoot the dog, no questions asked. I've worked with families whose dogs were hiding in the corner, terrified, and still shot. Two black labs that ran away from the cops, were running away, down the hall and still shot. It's so much more horrific, to me at least, than addiction. The criminalizing of addiction, and this war on addicts and people who sell drugs.

I just hope this doesn't happen to your AH Jacks. If he's a gun owner, and many are because this is America and we have a right to bear arms and protect our homes, if he doesn't know they're actually cops he may pull his gun and be obliterated by gunfire. Because he's growing two plants outside and is an addict.

This is why I can't understand when others here cheer you on for turning him in. They must have never been raided or known anyone who has been. It's horrible, and it's just the beginning of the nightmare
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:40 PM
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Transform,

I know there have been terrible cases of raids gone wrong. But I've worked around law enforcement for a long, long time and the typical "raid" is nothing like that. The SWAT teams are not going to show up for a couple of pot plants in the back yard.

I'm not saying you don't have legitimate concerns, but I think you're being a bit alarmist in this situation.

I have mixed feelings about calling the police for something like this, too, but it isn't my situation. I am assuming that jtd is acting out of legitimate concern for her son's visiting his dad with pot plants growing in the yard. The fact that you or I might not make the same decision doesn't mean she's wrong to do it. I don't sense any vindictiveness going on here.

Just my two cents.
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:46 PM
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I happen to agree with TFM and KK I really think you could have done something other than calling the cops on the man you are supposed to love.

I hope for your sake this whole thing doesn't turn around and bite ya in the a**
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Old 07-25-2011, 09:55 PM
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I don't sense vindictiveness either. And I too have worked with LEO for a long time and my experience with raids is completely different. It's typical to discount and minimize the horrors of masked gunmen coming to your house with guns pulled as "raids gone horribly wrong," that's how society and law enforcement is able to justify these actions on our neighbors and family. It's a war and it's not gentle or kind.

Regardless, the OP is fine with her decision, happy about it. I wish the best for Jack, her son, and AH.
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Old 07-26-2011, 06:58 AM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
I am assuming that jtd is acting out of legitimate concern for her son's visiting his dad with pot plants growing in the yard.
Is it better for him to visit his dad in prison? Not that he will serve time for growing a couple of plants, but then again, who knows, I don't know the extent of the law. Just making a point.

It sounds like she is trying to manipulate her ex's choices by involving the police. It doesn't sound like she did it for the well being of her son, it sounds like she did it to get her ex in trouble. I'm guessing that the "the meter reader saw them" story isn't going to go over too well, especially if she has mentioned before that she doesn't want him growing pot at his house. Then again, it's his house, he can do what he wants. Just the way that I see it.

Either way, what a crappy situation.

I guess another route would have been to tell her ex, as long as you insist on growing pot on your property, son will not be allowed on the premise. That way he can decide what his priorities are. Maybe she already said that, and he decided to continue to grow, and the lawyers told her there was no other option than to have the police involved to document his unlawfulness in order to assist in a custody hearing. Again, I don't know.

Transform, the man who came to our house was a detective, coming to question us about someone's hubcaps and spare tire being stolen from a horse trailer.
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