Welcome to SR
As a recovering alcoholic I really do not have much insight into your perspective. What I can say is that I did have to learn that my recovery was up to me, job or no job, spouse or no spouse, I had to want the recovery and work towards that. I could not depend on what others did or did not do, I had to work on my own recovery.
It took a recovery program for me to do that successfully. I would encourage you to encourage your wife to become involved in a program. There are many out there. Personally, AA is the one that worked for me. Here is a list of many of the programs:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I would also encourage you to seek help for yourself by attending ALANON. They can help provide you with the tools you need to help you live with the alcoholic active or not. Plus you will find they can help support you during this rough transitional time. We also have a friends and family of the alcoholic section in our forums where you can find a lot of support and good experience in dealing with the alcoholic. Here is the link to that:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I wish both you and your wife the best. Again glad you are here.