I remember when I was in job mandated treatment for 60 days... the toll that took on my wife... I felt so bad which wasn't much good for my spirits either, which was exactly why the treatment center strictly limited the amount of time we communicated. Thanx for the reminder of how it was, I need to hear that occasionally.
If your wife gets recovered, really recovered, she will want to make amends... but what more can she really do, right now, except get treatment? Sorry won't get the chores done, the kids fed or the bills paid... but once she's recovered, she can help do her part in all of that.
I haven't been able to share the details of my recovery too much with my wife... we are married like 27 years, a bunch of kids, stressful jobs, all that... but what I can do is share my life with her, and, lucky for me, she wants me to do just that...
This whole process is gonna take some time, and it isn't measured in days, weeks, or in some ways, months... Be patient. Get recovered yourself... have you looked into naranon or alanon? (That's OK if you haven't... my wife is a proud member of Al aNOT !!! ... and she's doin' OK..)
Welcome to SR