I don't sense vindictiveness either. And I too have worked with LEO for a long time and my experience with raids is completely different. It's typical to discount and minimize the horrors of masked gunmen coming to your house with guns pulled as "raids gone horribly wrong," that's how society and law enforcement is able to justify these actions on our neighbors and family. It's a war and it's not gentle or kind.
Regardless, the OP is fine with her decision, happy about it. I wish the best for Jack, her son, and AH.