Welcome, Becky!! You have made a great step just by coming here. I knew I needed to quit for YEARS before I actually did something about it. I was just so dam* scared. What I really wanted was to be able to control and enjoy my drinking. I spent alot of miserable time trying to do that. What I have found, through AA and a solid program of recovery, is that it is much easier to just not take a drink or drug at all. I don't have to think about it all the time anymore. I don't have to worry about when I will drink, how much, what I will do, how I will cope, what mistakes I will make, etc. I think that is what they mean by "freedom" from addiction. It is not easy, but it is simple, and it is worth it.
Hang in there, and keep posting--we are all here for you!