Originally Posted by
Englishrose70 
Then I recall how grateful I am when I go to bed, take off my makeup, apply moisturiser, clean my teeth, think about the following day with hope and say a little prayer of thanks.
How I love and enjoy the simplicity of that routine as opposed to collapsing on the bed at stupid O'clock after crawling up to the stairs after passing out on the sofa. Waking up with a banging head and mascara smeared on the pillow, a thirst like the desert and puffy, blood shot eyes and full of self-loathing.
The thought of it makes me shudder.
Thats what keeps me going
You made me tear up with this one.....when I actually do string together a few days sober....this is one activity I take joy in.....taking care of myself instead of abusing myself. I went out and bought the entire line of Oil of Olay Total Effects last month (when I committed to sobriety once again)....you never realize how much it means to take part in "normal" routines, as simple as they are. I totally understand the waking up with the head banging and hating yourself all over again.
I, too, seem to be overcome with amnesia within 2-4 days after a big bender....but I think that SoberJennie hit the nail on the head with making a firm commitment, as long as there is an ounce of indecision the AV will make itself heard and (at least with me) more than likely win.