Hi Becky and welcome!
I was in that limbo state for many years knowing I needed to but not wanting to! Afterall, how was I to relax, have fun, let go? I really feared it. I find it hard to fathom when people say their spouses don't support them. I believe it though, just don't understand how someone can be so selfish to allow their "soul mate" to kill themselves.
Anyway, I'll save that for another day. Girl, if you want to quit, you quit, it's your life! I'd like to suggest going back to AA as I know I couldn't do it alone, lord know's I tried.
The important thing is your here, and we're very glad you found us. We'll be your means of support!