FreeingMyself, ((((hugs))))
No need to feel guilt or shame. Just like our A's we can't do what we need to do until we are ready to do it. I stayed with an active alcoholic wife for 15 years. There were periods of not drinking but never for too long. There were even periods of moderation but it always ended with a binge.
So congratulations on taking a big step.
BTW, are you going to al-anon? I can't recommend it enough. Keep posting and remember its none of your business what other people think of you. :-)
Your friend,