Hey Becky, and Welcome. You've admitted you got a problem Congratulation, very good start on your First Step. My wife and I are in recovery she before me, our addictions had us so far apart we almost lost our love for one another. Seeing her try so very hard not to drink while I was "parting it up" and then she manage to go for days at a time, and was always going to meetings and talking about the good people she met, and for the first time in a long time she seem happy. This all made me want what she was getting "Happiness" and helped me to hit bottom. The only advice I'm able to give is for you to start going back to the meetings, and start working on Becky....................Peace.