Hey Becky...
Welcome to Sober Recovery!
I'm a multi-addict... ;o)
I tried to control my addictions through willpower... but ... my willpower is dis-eased so pretty much didn't get anywhere.
That niggling knowledge in the back of my mind that my life was seriously out of control wouldn't leave me alone though. So.. finally I walked into a 12 Step meeting. I haven't regretted that action for one second in the 16 years since.
There is loads of sanity on this forum... I hope you avail yourself of it's bounty... ;o)