Originally Posted by
WendyOWilliams 
Point taken, Mike. But I do control if he lives here or not. He can leave anytime too, of course, but he has no resources and very few options wrt a place to live. That's where it gets sticky cause he often feels like he's walking on eggshells around me, praying he won't make me so mad that I make him leave.
Basically I need to put these two things together and tell him that he needs to stop drinking and smoking if he wants to stay here. I hate to give an ultimatum like that - it DOES feel controlling. But I have a right to live the way I want as well. Ugh.
This is the kind of power that got us all in trouble. Please try to reach out to Al-anon folks in face-to-face meetings. Keep reading here, especially the permanent posts above called 'stickies', and maybe pick up a book called "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. The library in my town had a copy I borrowed.
Keep posting!
