I am very much struggling with this right now also. My ex (we split just a little over six months ago) was not willing to do the work when we were together. I just recently found out (after running into his new beau unexpectedly in a public forum last week) that they are living together and are planning on getting married this year.
That part is hard, but it is actually the magical thinking I have about "them" that has really gotten me over my head. I am under the impression that all of the problems are gone. I have a hard time being grateful in the moment about my life with quite a bit of calm and serenity now.
Meetings and friends keep me grounded but it is so easy for me to get caught up in this chaos and drama...and it is not even my business any longer. I am so good at driving myself nuts.