DesertEyes

Hello there StarShine

I am so sorry you are going thru all this. I can't imagine a worse horror than dealing with addiction in somebody we love.

I don't know about the "we" part. In my life there was no "we". I did my best to maintain a normal relationship but the addiction was more powerful. "They" chose to keep the addiction, not "us".

Addiction _is_ progressive. Sooner or later the alcoholic is going to change into that monster you mention. I'm not proposing that people are saints before alcoholism, just that once the addiction gets rolling they do change.

I don't think so. It's not the case with me and my loved ones. My ex-wife was a loving, caring and wonderful person. We really were living in the "happily ever after" part of a fairy tale. For 17 years or so. Then the addiction started and, little by little, she started with the lying, then the manipulating, and it just went on from there.

How important it is depends on each person. If it is important to _you_ then that's all we need to hear and we will back you up 100%. As was suggested above, look around the other "Friends and Family" forums that are "next door" and you will see that alkies and addicts live in their own type of reality. The rest of us people stay in the real world. So yes, your reality is just fine.

I think it's important to understand that _they_ change their own reality to suit their addiction. I don't think it's a matter of accepting it as much as being aware of it so you can better protect yourself.

Mike